Article 28 - The Principles
We are continuing with the House of Leadership (HOL) series. Throughout the series, my goal is not to persuade you toward the six principles I've selected. However, I do want to inspire you to critically think about what your principles will be. The best mentor we have is ourselves. Why? Because we spend literally every waking moment with ourselves. Remember, the first leadership phase is self-leadership, a fact throughout our journey to become Purposeful Accountable Leaders (PALs). Start discovering who you are and become the leader your team and this world need. Here are the first three of six principles that guide me, which I call BAD HUG.
To lead others, you must master yourself; to do that, you must unlock who you are.
- Joshua K. McMillion
Boldness
The first principle in the McMillion HOL is boldness. Let's start by defining boldness and why it's critical for my leadership style. First, leaders with confidence take calculated risks. At the end of the day, leadership boils down to your ability to handle risk while moving forward in a complex situation. Boldness is the leader's ability to stand in front of their team in complicated situations, professionally communicate what the organization needs to do, and shine the light that illuminates the path for the team. I value leaders willing to tell me when I'm in the wrong or point out when there is a better, more efficient way of doing a specific task or mission. A concise way to encompass this is the term I love called disciplined disobedience. I first heard this from General Mark Milley at the General Douglas MacArthur Leadership Award competition at Fort Bragg in 2018. Disciplined disobedience is the leader's ability to practice constructive candor in the organization by professionally challenging the status quo.
The status quo is the flawed way of thinking that plagues every organization for which I've worked. The thought that "the way we've always done it" will solve problems today is a fallacy. You and the organization will not grow because you're handling issues as they have always been. Think of it like this: if you understand there is a better way or know something is wrong, it's your fault if it's not corrected. Leaders can choose two paths. They can tap into 60 seconds of courage—the 60 Rule—embrace their position, and affect change. Or, they can spend the next 60 hours or days attempting to correct organizational mistakes. It only takes 60 seconds of bold, decisive, confident leadership to save countless hours, if not weeks or more! Trust me, I've learned the hard way that inaction multiplies and sucks away your time as a leader. PALs are confident in themselves and are willing to be unreasonable when the team sees a better way.
Boldness
The picture is from a recent tournament in early 2025, where my daughter took home 2nd place! If that is not the definition of boldness, I don’t know what is!
Accountabiltiy
I have defined accountability several times throughout my Tales of Leadership blog, but it's an essential element in my HOL. Accountability is both personal and professional. How? In our personal lives, we must have accountability systems, people, or processes to keep us on azimuth. I refer to these systems as accountability trees or someone or something deeply rooted with an unwillingness to accept your excuses. However, they are empathetic and provide shade when times are tough. Leaders are forward-moving and growth-oriented when they are accountable in their personal lives. The same is true for professional accountability. Great organizations do not become great by allowing mediocre performance. Great organizations hold their members and their leadership to the standard. Without this accountability check, the culture of any business shifts from problem-solving to problem-making. When others understand there are no ramifications for failure, there is no intrinsic motivation to try. Remember the rule of 100%. Each day we can only put out our best in earnest effort. If a leader or team member only puts out 75% today, they cannot physically give 125% tomorrow. Once individuals understand leaders do not hold them accountable, their motivation to give their best effort significantly reduces.
However, be careful when holding others accountable because it can lead to a loss of risk-taking—the exact opposite of what you want in your personal and professional life. Leaders must walk a fine line when holding themselves and others to the standard. First, realize your goal is not to isolate failure and punish people. Your goal is to isolate failure and discover how it happened. When you discover why the loss occurred, you shift the organization's mindset to a problem-solving versus problem-making team. Second, make sure there is one standard. Often, I have seen the leader and those of the inner circle held to a different requirement. Everyone in your organization is equal regardless of seniority, rank, or title. If a team member causes a problem, a PAL will hold them to the same standard as a senior organization member. Finally, accountability is shared in extraordinary organizations. It's not just the leader pointing out inefficiencies. Every team member is an accountability tree, pushing the entire organization to the next level. The organization will match the level of leadership you show! PALs develop systems to maintain accountability for their personal and professional life; those could be a mastermind, inner circle, mentors, coaches, or friends.
Discipline
The next pillar in the McMillion HOL is discipline. I define discipline as the intestinal fortitude to push beyond your own perceived limitations. A PAL continues for one more minute when their body and mind are screaming for them to stop. That often separates individuals who achieve success from those who quit. One more lap, one more podcast, one more book, one more call, and one more networking engagement separates winners from losers. It all comes down to one word: discipline. Do you have what it takes to chase hard things, especially when everyone else is looking for the easy path? Chasing hard things does two things. First, it forces you to continuously push yourself to the limit. Each time you try something new, it's molding you into the leader your team and family need. Second, because you're challenging yourself, it's allowing you to grow. Growth is uncomfortable because it is foreign. If you keep taking calculated swings, it increases your capacity to handle increased responsibility.
Leaders who lack discipline are not aligning their heads, heart, and hands—the Rule of 3H. When you're clear on your why, it causes a burning desire to achieve more, push further, and chase significance. Disciplined leaders understand that to progress, a sacrifice must be made. Those sacrifices may come from family time or a lack of social interaction. But what's important is the leader can see the destination and is willing to make short-term sacrifices to achieve long-term growth. For example, when writing this blog, it's 2030 at night. I'm sacrificing modern pleasures like watching television. Why? I am committed to growing my leadership and helping change this world. To remain disciplined, you need to do two things. First, understand your why and align it with your passion. Second, create routines throughout your day that make consistent wins. When your burning desire is lit, it keeps you motivated while you consistently knock down targets. As a result, you will begin to weather any storm. PALs discover their why, create routines, are willing to sacrifice, and chase hard things. Are you?
Discipline
One of the most mentally challenging things is subjecting yourself to a cold water freeze! I’ve been doing this for a little over a year and a half, and I promise you, it doesn’t get easier, but it definitely helps start the day off right!
Humility
At the core of who I am is one word: humility. Understanding that you're not the center of the universe is powerful. To achieve this, it takes a confident leader to realize two things. First, the organization is successful only when collaboration and communication are unleashed. PALs understand that people are the heart of any successful team. Once you realize people, not yourself, produce results, it creates momentum and disperses the mental fog. Second, humility requires you to let go of your ego. Again, confidence is vital. Once you understand who you are, you share power, not hoard it. Transitional leaders control power because they have a scarcity mindset. They are scared not to achieve results, scared to let others take the lead, and scared of not feeling needed. To become a transformational leader, you must let go of your ego and understand success comes from people, not yourself. Your job is to put yourself out of a job by training your team so well that you are no longer needed. Crazy, right?
When leaders tap into humility, they make tough decisions with decisive confidence. Some of the most challenging positions have forced me to face decisions that impacted not only my life but the lives of others. Humility humbles, and nowhere is that more critical than pivotal moments. Being humble allows you to see the second and third-order effects. Most importantly, it enables you to see what would happen if the most deadly course of action came to fruition. When you can see what's possible, it opens your mind to all information and prevents tunnel vision. One of the most deadly military exercises you can complete is entering and clearing a room. The decisive point of entering a room is the doorway. When learning how to clear a room, most people focus on the door itself, which causes tunnel vision. At its core, tunnel vision creates dead space. Dead space is deadly. PALs are confident in their decisions, surround themselves with more qualified team members, and let go of their egos.
Understanding “Empathy”
The next critical principle in my House of Leadership is understanding. I define understanding as empathy. You must listen to truly understand someone's perspective, decisions, and rationale. This is the secret to being an empathetic and transformational leader. Be there for those on your team and listen. There are four types of listening a leader can do: two are selfish, and two are selfless. To become a transformational leader, you must tap into selfless forms of listening. The first form of selfish listening is passive listening. The leaders who use this form are physically there, but mentally they're somewhere else. The second form of selfish listening is transitional. Here, leaders are only listening to find ways to benefit, not add value to their team. On the other side, the first selfless form of listening is empathetic. When leaders practice compassionate listening, they see the issue from others' perspectives. However, they're still missing key elements to fully immerse themselves in the active listening process. The final and second form of selfless listening is transformational. Transformational listening is the ability to block out all distractions and become laser-focused on your team or yourself. You're looking for whispers, changes in tone, physical manifestations, or hidden memories. To become an empathetic leader, first learn selfless listening.
The funny thing about empathy is we are all born with the ability. However, over time, life's challenges weigh us down like chains. Those chains begin to cause resentment and jealousy and lead to a hardening of our hearts. When leaders allow the world to mold them through self-defeating beliefs, they lose the ability to connect emotionally. Authentic connection is critical to building relationships. Always remember, relationship building is the one thing that, if done well, will result in extraordinary success. However, avoid becoming too empathetic and falling into the sympathy loop. The sympathy loop is an endless cycle of your inability to hold others accountable. Your team encounters a problem and comes to you for help. What are you going to do? If you give them guidance and the tools to be successful, you're practicing empathy and active listening. However, if you give into their story, you're a rescuer. Growth will never happen if you consistently fill the role of a rescuer. PALs actively listen, make decisions formed by their beliefs, and hold themselves and others accountable.
Understanding
Seek first to understand, then to be understood." – Stephen R. Covey
Gratitude
The final principle in the McMillion HOL is gratitude. Gratitude was one of the most challenging elements for me to master because it requires two things. First, you have to create personal reflection time. The only way to become grateful is to revisit your past. What memories are you thankful for? It's easy to select great memories—for example, birthdays, your first date, your first kiss, etc. However, that's not gratitude. Gratitude is looking into the darkness, those places you would not dare revisit, and finding the light. If you find gratitude in your nightmares, you can practice gratitude in the present. Second, when you begin to review your life's chapters, you are forgiving. At the core of gratitude is forgiveness; to be a PAL, you must be willing to forgive. Without forgiveness, we allow the darkness to block out the light.
We are always grateful when we get what we want; how are you grateful when life gets a vote? I've learned to overcome anger, fear, and jealousy by changing my perspective. You have to make it personal. For example, I've lost more friends and soldiers than I care to remember. But reflecting on those memories does two things. First, it allows me to honor those individuals and the memories that we share—the times I've spent with those individuals before they were taken. Second, it drives me to grow and become a better leader daily. I refuse to stop when I am confronted with loss, either professionally or personally. I may pivot or be momentarily halted, but eventually, I will try again and gain traction. The mountain tops our icons stand on are forged through loss and failure, incrementally building upon each other until you see them at the summit. Unless you are with them for their journey, you would never know their summits are built upon their failures. PALs are grateful in tough times because it drives them to become better.
Final Thoughts
Each principle selected for your HOL must come from you, not be influenced by others. Chances are you resonated with one or more principles in my HOL, and that's OK. But I challenge you to discover your principles because it is liberating. Once a leader finds who they are and why they believe what they believe, it builds inspirational confidence. Remember the six phases of leadership. The first phase is mastering ourselves or self-leadership. To lead others, you must master yourself; to do that, you must unlock who you are. Do not adopt buzzwords or other leadership philosophies because it's trendy. Do it because you believe in it, or your team will see through it. Every word I write is a bold statement followed by confident action. Leaders tap into the Rule of 3H when they know who they are. PALs can see where they want to go, create an emotional connection to push through tough times, and engage their hands to put in the work and grow.
After Action Review
What principles resonated with you? Why?
What are your top principles?
What actions align with your principles?
My Mission: I will end toxic leadership practices by equipping leaders with transformational leadership skills.
Together, we will impact 1 MILLION lives!!!
Every day is a gift, don't waste yours!
Joshua K. McMillion | Founder MLC | Founder MLC
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